When should your fantasies stay just that?

I bet if I gave you sixty seconds to write down just a title for some of your fantasies you’d be able to write down a fair few and would probably need much longer to complete a full list. I know I would. Fantasies are an essential part of life and health, they’re how we explore what turns us on, they can be a place to escape to when life is harsh and a place to start when thinking about adding spice to your sex life. But when should you decide to leave your fantasy in your mind and not act it out?

Legalities and Moralities of fantasies

If there is part of your favourite fantasy that is illegal then this is a good indication that it should stay as just a fantasy. Of course, you can push the edges of this with something like exhibitionism. Sex outdoors is a popular fantasy and can be indulged in safe places like gardens or hidden safely in bushes or indulged in under blankets or in isolated places. However, if you want to have sex during the Horse Guards parade outside Buckingham Palace then I think that’s a fantasy that should stay a fantasy or you’re going to end up being arrested…and I bet prison sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be either!

I bet prison sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to beClick To Tweet

Of course our dreams and desires can get quite dark and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with pushing boundaries in the fantasy world but in reality there have to be rules and limitations. For example, there needs to be clear consent from all parties involved, there need to be safewords that can stop everything immediately and there has to be considerations around health and safety. If your fantasy pushes past any of those boundaries then it is one that should be left in your mind.

Expensive fantasies

Fantasies can be expensiveWe all have a budget, right? And as much as it might be fun to think about a fantasy that just blows the bank (not literally, bank robbing fantasies are a no –no under the point I just made) but we have to be able to still pay our bills. Sex wearing diamonds on my fingers, toes and round my neck, tied down with strings of pearls and wearing a sapphire decorated tiara might really float my boat. It ain’t gonna happen any time soon though. When the expense of indulging your fantasy becomes more than you can comfortably afford then it’s one to keep to your imagination or one to save up for.


A good question to ask yourself when thinking about bringing a fantasy into real life is can it be done? I know that seems a little obvious but it covers the two points above plus other practical notes. Do you have a partner who will indulge in your desire or can you get together enough people for it? Have you got the requisite equipment? Can you actually, physically do it? Do you have the knowledge needed to indulge safely or do you know someone who can help you? Don’t simply rely on Google, that could end badly. If you need specialist advice look for people online or at munches, alternative fairs, BDSM clubs etc to get information from people who know what they’re talking about.

Keeping it Special

Not all reasons to keep a fantasy simply that are practical, some of them are to do with preserving the fantasy to keep it unique to you. If your fantasy is very particular, very precise and is incredibly intricate, it might be best to keep it to your mind only. If you bring a fantasy into the real world you open it up to outside influences and how will you feel if you act out your deepest desire and something goes wrong? Once a dream is realised then it’s open to getting changed, altered and even ruined. If your fantasy is something incredibly precious to you then maybe you should keep it that way.

Your fantasies are personal to you and your decisions to keep them in your head or act them out will be very personal too. If in doubt don’t act them out is my biggest piece of advice. If you’re not sure that bringing your sexy day dreams to life will make them better then keep them in your imagination. You have the control in this. You could always try out elements of your fantasy in reality. Try cuffs, go out without any knickers on, buy a whip and have a go. You can give it a little trial run, like doing a patch test before dying your hair. If it goes well then maybe you can fully immerse in your fantasy later.

There is no rule that says a fantasy ever has to be anything more than just that. Enjoy yours in the way that is best for you.

There is no rule that says a fantasy ever has to be anything more than just thatClick To Tweet

Written by Victoria Blisse

Queen of Smut and Writer of Award winning Rosy, Raunchy Romance. See more posts written by Victoria, or visit her blog to see more of her work or follow her on twitter.

Illustrated by Amy Gardner

Please make sure you drop by our awesome illustrator Amy (Star boots) and tell her how much you love her sexy little girls. Check out her website or find her on twitter.