New year’s resolutions

Should we make them?

There are two types of people in the world: those who wake up at 8am on January 1st to go for their first run of 2017, or those who wake up well past noon and stumble to the kitchen for a glass of water and a pain killer.

Typically, I’m the latter.

New Year’s Eve is for celebrating! Celebrating all of the good moments of 2016 (we got engaged!) and coming to terms with all the bad crap that happened (do I really have to explain?). 2016 has been a tough year and many of us will be glad that it is ending. A new year brings new hope – it is a time to move on, make new plans and hit the ‘refresh’ button on our energy levels and motivation. Who knows what 2017 will bring – but hopefully only good things!

Who knows what 2017 will bringClick To Tweet

Along with reprogramming our minds to write ‘2017’ when we sign documents, there is often a mental shift that happens in January. The gyms are at their busiest, nights get filled with re-connecting with friends and the crabbiness of smokers increases as they quit en masse.

There are some great things that come from New Year’s Resolutions (like, taking care of our minds and bodies) but there is also a lot of pressure around them. The feelings of failure towards the end of January or start of February are at an all-time high.

Why set goals?

I personally like making goals for myself throughout the year. I don’t necessarily see a need to have a set date for going back to the gym or calling up a friend or starting the blog you’ve always wanted to host. Maybe it is because January is a freezing cold month that is meant for hibernation… but I find that it is not the most productive time to change things.

I know plenty of people who eat and drink away November and December because ‘things will change in January’; people who let things slide because their resolutions are just around the corner – like the famous ‘last cigarette’ or ‘last piece of cake’ that the panic of ‘quitting’ has made you grab. “Oh, just one last one before I’m never doing this again”.

However, if you’re someone who really needs external motivation to make positive changes in their life, then New Year’s can be a great starting point. There are discounts on fitness trainers, there are great blogs about resolutions (like this one!) and there is no more gift-buying for a while so you can save up the money for the exotic trip that is on your list. You can exchange resolutions with your friends and coworkers and work on them together – it is the perfect time for a buddy system.

New year's is the perfect time for a buddy systemClick To Tweet

Keep it practical

The trick with New Year’s resolutions is to choose something manageable. Don’t commit to never eating a single ounce of sugar ever again, when you normally add 4 teaspoons of sugar to your tea (or 5 if no one is looking). Resolutions have to be specific, measurable and realistic.

Getting back into the hobby of painting is great. Aiming to paint once a day, every day is probably not achievable if you don’t even have the supplies. This isn’t to say that you can’t buy supplies and make the point of painting once a week – that is terrific! But you need to scale it to something that fits with your lifestyle or you won’t be able to maintain your resolution.

Speaking of realistic resolutions…. There are some super sex-positive ideas that you can incorporate in 2017 that don’t cost a thing. Did you really think we wouldn’t include something sexy in this blog? There is a whole bunch out there if you Google the right terms, but I wanted to share my favourites with you.

Sex positive resolutions you can try

1. Keep a Sex Diary

This isn’t what you think – it isn’t a ‘notch on the belt’ type of list. This is a memoir of your sexual exploits for you to refer back to at the end of the year. It’s like your own personal erotic story.

It works whether you are single, taken, or somewhere in between. Had a great session with your partner? Write it down in yummy details. Made out with a stranger in a club? Describe what it felt like. Went to a spanking party and didn’t participate? Jot down your feelings about it. At the end of the year (or really, whenever) you get to relive all those wonderful moments through your own words.

2. Commit to Safe Sex

If you have the bad habit of skipping out on protection or not asking people what their status is – this is the perfect time to change that. January can be a month of condom testing to find your preference. Or, you can find tips to make it more comfortable to discuss safe sex with a potential partner.

If you’ve been delaying starting a new form of birth control, then schedule an appointment with your doctor to chat about it. There’s nothing sexier than taking care of your sexual health. (While you’re at it – read up about enthusiastic consent!).

There’s nothing sexier than taking care of your sexual healthClick To Tweet

3. Start Doing Kegels

This is a list of ideas, not necessarily personal recommendations, so you obviously don’t have to do kegels if you don’t want to. However, for those of us who want to do them (including me), they are easy to forget.

Working out my body at the gym is easy to remember (and easier to skip) but for some reason my pelvic floor muscle gets neglected. Make a point of starting a routine. If you aren’t sure if kegels are right for you – check with your doctor.

4. Self-love!

A little body revolution is a wonderful resolution to make. Body-positivity and self-love is HARD. Like, really, really, really hard. Whether it is taking time for self-care or accepting (and learning to love) your nose, it is one of the hardest things we have to do.

Your resolution doesn’t have to be a public display. It can be an attempt to spend more time loving yourself for who you are. Taking time to appreciate your mind and your body. Your resolution can be anything that makes you feel better or more confident about who you are. You can decide to wear a crop top in public or decide to take bubble baths more often. It doesn’t matter what path you choose, just that you’re heading towards more self-love. After all, it’s YOUR resolution.

If you’re stumbling across this post in the future when the flowers are blooming or the thermometer reads 35 degrees… this post is still for you. Resolutions and goals don’t have to be a once-a-year thing. They can be a whatever-works-for-you thing because isn’t that the point?

If you have any more wonderful ideas, please tell us on twitter.

Have an absolutely amazing, positive, fulfilling 2017! 

Written by Rebecca Dane

Rebecca is one half of A Couple of Kinks, a couple in Canada who are exploring the wonderful world of kink and themselves. Checkout their awesome website, or follow them on twitter


Illustrated by Amy Gardner

Please make sure you drop by our awesome illustrator Amy (Star boots) and tell her how much you love her sexy little girls. Check out her website or find her on twitter.