Those of you who follow my blog know that we have our share of dirty weekends. It’s not something we are able to do once a month or even once a quarter. We do it when we can, and when others can, because organising a dirty weekend is not as easy as it sounds. Except of course if it’s only the two of us, then all we have to do is to book a hotel and it’s done. The moment we want to have a dirty weekend with another couple, it’s a different ball game (no pun intended).

So what are the things you have to think about when organising a dirty weekend?

Our experiences

Ever since we started ‘dating’ others, we’ve had about seven dirty dates and only three weekends with others. I am talking of a period of about four and a half years. That means a date every five to six months, which isn’t a lot, right?

However, not having a dirty date every month definitely keeps things interesting and exciting. There’s the discussing of a date, the making of the plans, the build up towards the ‘being together’ and then the actual date itself. And of course, there’s the aftermath too, where we talk about what happened and I write blogs about it or post images on my blog.

We’ve had some lovely experiences. Sometimes we had dates only with a man, other times the dates were with couples. The three weekends were with couples and lots of memories were made then, but we also had our disappointments because of differences in expectations.

Where do you start?

It all starts with desire - the desire between people who are not involved in a relationship to have sexy fun together. It can either be that you’re a couple and you’re interested to play with another couple, or that you want another man or another woman to join you for a weekend. Just as important as desire, if not more important, is communication. For this piece I assume your desire is not about cheating but about having fun together as a couple. So, communication. Make sure the communication is between all parties involved, to avoid any misunderstandings afterwards.

[clickToTweet tweet=”It all starts with desire” quote=”It all starts with desire”]

Tips to organise your dirty weekend

The following tips come from our experiences in organising a dirty weekend with other couples, but they can also apply to a couple organising a weekend with another (wo)man or even for two singles to organise a dirty weekend together.

1. Whether you have seen each other in real life before or not, and even if you've had a dirty weekend together in the past, meet for lunch (or dinner) to talk face-to-face about the new weekend you are planning.
2. If this is the first time you will spend sexy time together, discuss your do’s and don’ts. If this is not the first time, discuss whether anything has changed since the previous time of whether there might be something new you want to try. Are you a couple who want to date another couple? Is sex with each other’s partners allowed? Does the two (wo)men want to have sex? If your weekend will include bdsm elements, please remember to discuss your limits!
3. If all do’s and don’ts and limits have been discussed, it’s time to discuss expectations. This might seem to be the same as discussing limits, but it’s not. You don’t want to go into a weekend where you think you will be spanked and then after the weekend you realize you were only a spectator. Even if you are about to date the same people for the second time, it’s a good thing to discuss expectations for an upcoming dirty weekend.
4. By now you’ve had a drink or two and have ordered your lunch. Do’s and don’ts, limits and expectations have been discussed. Do you still feel the desire to date the other(s)? Yes? Come on, talk dates! Phones on the table, scroll through your busy schedules and set a date!
5. Now you have a date, the next step is to decide where you want to go. Do you want to meet in a hotel or do you want to go to a holiday park and share a chalet?
6. Just as important as number 4 & 5 is the cost. How much money do you have to spend on such a date? Make sure to discuss this! Of course you don't have to give the other couple exact numbers, but you can indicate what the maximum amount is you are willing to spend on such a weekend.
7. The next step is to decide who does what. Who’s going to arrange the accommodation? If you are in a hotel, food won't be a problem, but when you are in a holiday house for the weekend, you will have decisions to make on the food part. Who will be responsible for bringing the groceries you will need? Are you going to split the costs? Will each couple/person bring his own food and drink? Will you cook in the holiday house or go out for dinner?
8. Another important thing to discuss is whether you want to be together ALL weekend and do EVERYTHING together, or will you want to do some things separately. Are you going to be in the hotel/holiday house all weekend or do you want to go out to see something of the surroundings? This point is important to discuss to make sure that no one is disappointed after the weekend.

Afterword

These are the most important and basic things to discuss, but there might be things that are specific to the people involved. Make sure to discuss everything you can think of before a dirty weekend starts, but also be aware that you don’t have a minute-to-minute planning as that will kill all spontaneity and lust. The main goal for a dirty weekend is to ENJOY!

[clickToTweet tweet=”The main goal for a dirty weekend is to ENJOY!” quote=”The main goal for a dirty weekend is to ENJOY!”]

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