It’s not rare to see a surge in sexual fashion – as one particular thing starts getting more media coverage, more people experiment with it, and you’ll see a deluge of advice and opinion on the Next Big Sexual Thing. It happened with the Rampant Rabbit vibrator, and it happened with BDSM after That Book, but pegging (aka strap-on sex) is the sexual trend that seems to have come straight from grassroots enthusiasm.
Pegging (aka strap-on sex) involves a woman putting on a strap-on and having anal sex with a guy. Although the term was originally coined to refer to heterosexual couples, the act can be done by people of any gender really – all you need is the right equipment and a desire to get down to it.
That’s because, to put it simply, pegging is hot. Like other brilliant things such as wine, cheese, and avocado on toast – while there are some who don’t like it, those who do seem to really love it. If you’re keen to get your strap-on on, the first thing you need to do is talk to your partner about it.
[clickToTweet tweet=”To put it simply, pegging is hot” quote=”To put it simply, pegging is hot”]
Introducing pegging to your partner
Introducing a new kink to your partner can be as simple as saying ‘hey, do you fancy trying this?’ but for many it can seem as difficult as climbing Everest. If they haven’t expressed an interest in something before, naturally there’s always the worry that they’ll react with shock.
The first thing to do is consider exactly what you want out of it – what is it about strap-on sex that you find particularly hot?
If you don’t have a penis, you might be drawn to the idea of taking on the ‘penetrating’ role. Being able to control the speed, angle, and rhythm of penetration. You might just fancy experiencing things from the ‘other side’ – being able to watch your partner’s bum from behind as you pleasure them with your strap-on cock.
If you’re in the opposite position – you want your partner to peg you – then you might have similar role-reversal fantasies, or you might want to take advantage of the fantastic prostate stimulation opportunities that pegging presents.
And those are just the physical reasons – there are plenty of psychological things that contribute to the hotness of strap-on sex. Personally I enjoy being able to take charge. The unique sensation of having a penis. True, no one’s yet invented a strap-on so effective it can feel like you have your own cock, but lubing it up, stroking it, touching it, even making someone else suck it, allows me to experience a bit of what it would be like to inhabit a different body.
Whatever it is that turns you on, take your time and read through some guides on pegging (you’re reading this one so you’re off to a great start!), browse sex toys online, and have a look at some porn if that’s your thing. If your partner isn’t familiar with strap-on sex, then being armed with all the info on how to do it, how you’d like it done, and what it is that turns you on about it, means you can have a full and frank discussion when you raise it.
Strap-on sex: possible turn offs
Common worries about strap-on sex are similar to the worries about any kind of anal play: is it safe? Will it hurt? Will it be messy? It’s totally understandable to be worried, but let me (hopefully) put your mind at ease.
Safety and pain: pegging, if done properly, is perfectly safe, and it shouldn’t hurt. Make sure you have a strap-on dildo that is the right size for the person being pegged, use lots of lube, and take it slowly. You might want to mark out your first time as a practice run so neither of you feels pressure to perform, you can just test the waters a little.
Mess: unfortunately, no one can offer you a guarantee that anal play won’t result in a bit of mess. Forgive me if you’re squeamish, but I feel it’s important to be honest: sometimes when I’ve pegged people I’ve got what I’m going to delicately call ‘bum stuff’ on the tip of my strap-on cock. I don’t sweat it, but you might. If you or your partner is nervous about this, you can use enemas to clear the pathway beforehand, but like I say: no guarantees.
First-time pegging
I’ve had a few pegging firsts, because I’ve wanted to do it with a few different guys. The very first time I pegged someone, the fantasy grew gradually out of a few conversations. Lying in bed with him at night, spooning him from behind, I made a casual suggestion about watching him with another man. He tentatively asked: “how about you be the man?”
That one sentence set my mind racing, and soon we were squeezing our way through a seedy doorway and into a sex shop to buy our first strap-on. It was different in those days: most sex toys had to be bought in person. Now, of course, you can check out all the different strap-on harnesses you like online, see the reviews, and pick from a vast selection. Back then we had one choice: medium or large?
Choosing your strap-on
There are two key things you’re looking for when picking a strap-on: comfort and sexiness. Comfort is important for both of you: the person wearing the strap-on harness needs to know that it’s secure – you’ll want something adjustable so that it can sit snugly against your skin without being too tight. And, of course, for the person being pegged the size and shape of dildo is very important. If you’re new to pegging or anal play in general, it’s best to go for something small and fairly slim. You can always work up to something larger when you’ve got the hang of the smaller one.
The second guy I ever pegged was one who had never done it before. He was keen to try, and very curious. Unfortunately, I only had one dildo at the time (what can I say? I was broke!) and it wasn’t a beginner’s one. It wasn’t the Incredible Hulk’s penis either, but it was definitely on the weightier end of the spectrum. He didn’t much enjoy his first pegging experience, and we stopped after an awkward minute of ‘oooh, left a bit?’ and ‘slooowly’, eventually ending with ‘ah, sod it, I don’t think it’s working’.
Sexiness is crucial when you’re choosing a strap-on too. Long ago when I bought my first ever strap-on, it was one of the least sexy things in the world. Very flimsy elasticated straps were attached to a rubber dildo in a manner that said ‘function’ rather than ‘phwoooar.’ It did the trick, but I didn’t feel particularly hot while I was using it. These days you can get harnesses in almost any style you like – delicate lacy knickers, boyshorts, leather straps, you name it. The one I have has adjustable straps that run from the hips, down the outside of the buttocks, and through the crotch – it makes my bum look and feel incredible, and I have been known to strut around after pegging just so I can feel powerful and hot in my strap-on harness.
Advanced pegging tricks
[clickToTweet tweet=”The best thing about pegging for me is that I get to experience sex as the ‘penetrator’ rather than the ‘penetratee’” quote=”The best thing about pegging for me is that I get to experience sex as the ‘penetrator’ rather than the ‘penetratee’”]
On to my favourite part: pegging tricks and tips. The best thing about pegging, for me, is that I get to experience sex as the ‘penetrator’ rather than the ‘penetratee’ – it’s a whole different experience. Not just for the view, but also for the different elements that you can control. Here are my three favourite pegging tips:
1. Experiment with different positions.
Most people assume that doggy style is the best way to peg someone, but in fact you can peg in any position, and some have added benefits. Pegging missionary style, with a dildo that’s curved slightly upwards, means you can deliver excellent prostate stimulation – not to mention see their satisfied face as you hit the perfect spot. Pegging with the guy on top – in cowgirl position – is incredible too, and perfect for first-time pegging. He can control the angle and the speed, as well as how deep the penetration is.
2. Combine your strap-on with other sex toys.
If your strap-on doesn’t stimulate you enough, then you can combine it with insertable dildos and vibrators to make sure that you’re getting the pleasure you need. Bondage kits and restraints are also well worth experimenting with. If the person you’re pegging isn’t used to holding a position for a long time, then tying their wrists or ankles can help them to stay in position – as long as you remember the bondage safety rules, then rope can be an aid to positioning as well as a BDSM trick.
3. Virtual reality porn.
I mentioned, didn’t I, that pegging allows you to experience sex differently? Well, virtual reality porn does the same, and if you combine the two you can have a magically weird and intensely hot experience. For less than £20 you can pick up a VR headset, and sites like Kink’s KinkVR.com have free-to-download taster videos. You put these videos on your phone, slot your phone into the VR viewer, and get to experience the porn as if you’re in it. Combine an amazing ‘girl gets banged’ virtual reality video with your own strap-on cock, and voila! The person being pegged gets to feel what it’s like being in someone else’s body.
Inspired? I hope so! Strap-on sex is growing in popularity and, while most sexual trends have a certain amount of stigma to dispel before they really gain ground in the mainstream, pegging seems to be getting popular pretty rapidly. Not that it has to be popular in order for you to do it – all it needs to do is get your imagination going and your heart racing. So strap-in, strap-on, and enjoy!
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