If your sex education lessons were anything like mine, you may have left school with little more than traumatic memories of your history teacher’s teenage wanking stories and a deadly fear of diseases. Sex education in UK schools in the past left a lot to be desired so we found alternative sources of information. The majority of my sex education came from magazines and alcohol-soaked fumbles. It wasn’t ideal but it was all we had. What about now though? Surely schools have learnt from past mistakes?
The current state of sex education in UK schools
You might have heard that sex and relationship education isn’t being made compulsory in British schools. That doesn’t mean young people are going without sex education, but it does mean they are at the mercy and whim of their school when it comes to the curriculum. The issue is made more complicated by the division between maintained schools, academies, and private schools. While a very basic degree of sex education is a compulsory in maintained schools, academies and private schools are exempt from the national curriculum. This leads to an inequality in sex education provisions for young people.
Currently, maintained primary schools must teach about puberty and reproduction as part of the final year science curriculum but that’s too late for some children. Children are beginning puberty at an earlier age than ever and 1 in 4 girls are beginning menstruation before they are taught about it in school.
Maintained secondary schools are required to teach about STIs as part of the national curriculum for science. That is literally the only compulsory part of sex education. If schools choose to teach sex and relationship education, they must give ‘due regard’ to Sex and Relationship Guidance (2000). The legislation which outlines what schools should teach was written in 2000.
Let me take you back to the year 2000...
We were relieved our electronics were not destroyed by the millennium bug. The music video to Shaggy’s ‘It wasn’t me’ was given away free on VHS with Smash Hits magazine. If you wanted to buy the latest albums you went to Our Price or Virgin Megastores (which, incidentally, was the nickname given to my school). You didn’t have to worry about your naked selfies being shared because nobody had a camera phone.
Section 28 prevented a local authority from promoting “the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship”. Same-sex civil partnership and marriage didn’t exist. We were still three years away from the first major overhaul of the Sexual Offences Act in over a century, which created new offences and refined others. So much has changed since 2000, so why hasn’t the sex education legislation?
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There has been some supplementary guidance but the issue is that it is only guidance. Schools can choose to ignore it entirely. There are schools and teachers who utilise this guidance and provide outstanding sex education but with 22% of young people saying their sex education was ‘bad’ or ‘very bad’, non-statutory guidance and optional sex education is failing a significant minority.
The effect of sex education on young people
There seems to be a fear that teaching children about sex will destroy their innocence or lead to sexual precociousness. What this attitude neglects to take into consideration is the fact that children are already losing their innocence. 1 in 20 children experience contact sexual abuse, rising to 1 in 4 when non-contact forms of abuse, such as being flashed or coerced into performing sexual acts on the internet, are included. Worryingly, 1 in 3 victims of childhood contact sexual abuse didn’t tell anyone. That’s hardly surprising when only 34% of young people learnt about sexual consent in sex and relationship education.
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The fear of sex education leading to sexual precociousness is unfounded. In fact, young people who have good quality sex and relationship education are more likely to have sex later and use reliable methods of contraception and barrier methods to protect them from sexually transmitted infections.
Suggestions for improving sex and relationship education
The current policy means young people could leave school knowing nothing more than the basic biology of puberty, reproduction and sexually transmitted infections. While these things are vital foundations for sex education in UK schools, they do not provide young people with the skills needed for adult relationships. A compulsory sex and relationship curriculum for all types of schools would go some way to closing the gap between the best and worst school sex education but I believe there needs to be an attitude shift if we want to see young people grow up to be confident and responsible adults who are able to have healthy relationships.
The definition of a healthy relationship is very narrow in the government guidelines. The idea that sex should only occur in monogamous romantic relationships doesn’t accurately reflect current attitudes. I’m not advocating teaching children to put notches on their bed posts but to discount the idea that any other relationship dynamic is acceptable is nothing more than a moral judgement. People are entitled to live their life in any way they please (within the confines of the law) and I believe young people shouldn’t be shamed for making, or even just considering, choices that suit them and harm nobody.
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Lack of confidence, peer pressure, and embarrassment can make it hard for people to communicate. When the people who are embarrassed and lack confidence are teachers, how can young people be expected to learn that talking about sex is ok and to become better at communicating with partners? Teachers are saying they need more training to be able to provide quality sex education. The government needs to listen to them.
Most adults would agree sex and masturbation are enjoyable pursuits but not once in all the pages of government policy did I see the words ‘pleasure’ or ‘masturbation’ mentioned. The focus on the mechanics of sex leaves young people in the dark about where to get support if sex is painful or they are having difficulties getting sexual satisfaction (be that alone or with a partner). Teaching young people that their enjoyment matters might help them recognise abuse more easily, be able to communicate their wishes with partners, and enjoy masturbation. Being sexually satisfied is associated with improved quality of life, increased self-esteem and decreased depression.
I believe young people deserve the best quality of life possible.
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