I’m currently in the process of making a gorgeous flogger – it’s this paracord flogger, FYI, in pretty purple and black. Like all of my craft projects, I got really excited about doing it, then left it on the shelf for a few weeks before I got round to starting. I was, after all, far too busy doing boring work to make time for sitting calmly on the living room floor weaving paracord and imagining how it would feel when I got beaten with it.

But when I make things I like to have headspace. I like to sit – maybe with music or Radio 4 playing – and get intensely involved in the project. So when I finally got a couple of hours to myself, I made a start on my pretty flogger, and it is deeply satisfying.

[clickToTweet tweet=”I made a start on my pretty flogger, and it is deeply satisfying” quote=”I made a start on my pretty flogger, and it is deeply satisfying”]

I’ve rarely been as satisfied with a craft project as I am with this DIY sex toy project, mainly because – let’s face it – a flogger is inherently a more exciting thing for me than a scarf or a tye-dyed t-shirt. I’m going to use it more often. I’m going to bring it out and show it to my friends when they come round. I might – if they ask nicely – use the flogger on them, showing them how the heavy thud of knotted paracord feels on their naked bums.

Best of all, though, is that my partner watched me while I worked.

He’d check in every fifteen minutes or so with ‘how’s it going?’ and ‘wow, that’s pretty!’ in a way he never would have if I’d been making a scarf. Making your own sex toys is a deliciously sexy way to start a conversation about sex, and it’s the perfect way to build atmosphere. I haven’t quite finished my flogger yet, but when it’s complete his excitement about using it will (I hope) have built to such a frenzy that I will barely know what’s hit me. Pun intended.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Best of all, though, is that my partner watched me while I worked.” quote=”Best of all, though, is that my partner watched me while I worked.”]

One of the reasons I love KinkCraft is that they’ve tapped into a desire I never really knew I had. Crafting my own DIY sex toys? It would never have occurred to me that it was My Kind Of Thing until KinkCraft popped up with neat, high quality kits that were all ready to go. If left to my own devices I’d probably skimp on the cost of materials and end up with a flogger made from string and gaffer tape.

The joy of DIY sex toys

Anyway. In an effort to introduce you to the joy of DIY sex toys, I’m going to talk you through a few options for making your own.

Option one is, of course, the easiest: buy a kit from KinkCraft, settle down with a glass of wine/coffee/gin, and get stuck in. Their course tutorials make it easy, even for a ham-fisted wretch like me, but the finished products are so beautiful that you can’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction when you’re finished.

Option two is easy too, although you don’t get quite the satisfaction: kinkify things you already own. The easiest DIY sex toys are ones you don’t need to do much (or anything) with before you can use them for sexy purposes. And spanking is one of the best kinks to have if you want cheap, easy spanking equipment around the home. There’s loads of it, and as soon as you start looking at your household objects you’ll realise that many of them are already DIY sex toys:

• Wooden spoons
• Hairbrushes
• Garden canes
• Rulers
• Spirit levels
• Cables (like internet cable, for instance)

In my time, I’ve been beaten with all of these things. If I had to describe them I’d tell you that cables give a much harsher sting than more traditional belts or straps, and garden canes are whippy and evil.

If you want to test out any of these things, just make sure that what you’re using is clean and has no sharp edges or splinters (garden canes, for instance, may need a rub-down with sandpaper before you start, because getting splinters in your backside is a very niche kink indeed).

Option three is tricky, and requires a gigantic flashing sign that says ‘WARNING’: making your own sex toys out of random things you happen to own.

WARNING: DIY sex toys require skill and knowledge

What’s the average waiting time in your local Accident and Emergency department? If you don’t know the answer to this question, then DIY sex toys could be your swift route to an answer. On the other hand, if you’d rather not find out, be super-careful when constructing your own DIY sex toys. No one wants to end up as the punchline of a joke at a doctors’ Christmas Party.

DIY sex toy dos and don'ts

There are two golden rules if you’re making something that will go inside you: it needs to be made from body-safe material, and you need to be damn sure you can get it back out again. If you’re not sure how badly this can go, check out Radiopaedia’s ‘rectal foreign bodies’ gallery – X-rays of things stuck in people’s bottoms, which includes everything from broomsticks to frozen animal parts.

[clickToTweet tweet=”2 golden rules for making something that will go inside you: 1) body safe 2) be damn sure you can get it back out” quote=”2 golden rules for making something that will go inside you: 1) body safe 2) be damn sure you can get it back out”]

There are plenty of incredible materials used in insertable sex toys, but they’re only really worth making if you seriously know what you’re doing: wood is a great example. It can be sanded and crafted into the perfect shape to hit your G-spot or P-spot, but you need to make sure it’s solid, there are no cracks or flaws, and then it’s varnished or covered with a material that’s body safe. Realistically you either need to be an expert carpenter or know someone who’s willing to train you.

For more basic things, vegetables are often one of the go-to DIY sex toy options. Shaped carrots, cucumbers, and other things you can find in your veg box. If you’re seriously strapped for cash, a shaped vegetable (covered with a condom of course, to avoid any bacteria) can technically be used as a dildo – provided you remember the warning above. If you’re making insertables, remember that anything which goes into your anus needs to have a flared base so it doesn’t get sucked up inside you. And nothing whatsoever with sharp edges or scratches.

If it’s vibrations you’re after, perhaps the obvious go-to is your electric toothbrush. But beware: bacteria can lurk in the bristles on the brush, and excessive use can cause irritation and even bleeding.

As Dr Ranj advises over at BishUK, if you really want to use something like a toothbrush, be sure to pad and cover it to prevent injury, or buy an attachment that’s specifically made for masturbation.

Masturbation sleeves prove less of a problem, because you’re putting yourself into them rather than the other way round. And boy is the internet littered with examples of homemade masturbation sleeves: I’ve heard any number of variations on how to make one, from two sponges and a plastic bag sellotaped inside a Pringles can, to the more simplistic (but no less ingenious) lubed-up-swimming-armband.

You name it, if you can penetrate it with your penis, you can bet money that someone has. Again, the key rule here is caution: nothing with sharp edges, or that could break and spike you with something, and cover yourself with a condom to prevent the spread of bacteria (and avoid getting spunk in your Pringles). If you’re warming something up – as a friend of mine once did with a hollowed-out melon on a bored and horny Saturday – then do not warm it up in the microwave. Microwaves cause ‘hot spots’, so while it might seem fine when you stick your finger in to test the temperature, there may be a scalding trap lying in wait for your dick.

If you’d like more advice on DIY sex toys, Scarletteen (which is a site for young people but is equally useful for adults) has a fantastic guide on how to stay safe while indulging your sex toy creativity.

But if you, like me, would rather leave the experimenting to the experts, then I’d thoroughly recommend you get a KinkCraft kit. DIY sex toys are seriously fun, and they give you an incredible sense of satisfaction. Now all I need to do is finish my knots and grab my other half, and I’ll be ready for the most anticipated flogging I think I’ll ever have had…

[sc name=”Author_gotn”]

[sc name=”Illustrator_Amy”]