Hollywood’s relationship with portrayals of sex on the screen is… iffy, to say the least. Even in 2017, it seems to not have moved on too far from the days where Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr had a saucy snog in the surf in From Here to Eternity - back in 2013, actress Evan Rachel Wood took to Twitter to express her frustration at the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA, the American equivalent to the British Board of Film Classification) for cutting a cunnilingus scene from her film Charlie Countryman.
“The scene where the two main characters make ‘love’ was altered because someone felt that seeing a man give a woman oral sex made people ‘uncomfortable’ but the scenes in which people are murdered by having their heads blown off remained intact and unaltered.”
Wood also added that she felt like the scene would have remained intact if the roles had been reversed and it had been a fellatio scene. It is just one instance, but one that speaks volumes about some extremely dated industry attitudes. Honest on-screen portrayals of sexual expression across the gender and sexuality spectrum are more frowned upon by censors than graphic violence.
But sometimes, a film will sneak up on you and present you with a sexy scene that’ll make you shiver deliciously. Maybe the scene balances sexy and funny in a way that reminds you of your own lover. Maybe the scene is a raw, desperately hot expression of lust. Sometimes, there’ll be a film that just goes there and gets it, censors be damned.
Here are just a couple of the scenes that have tickled my fancy over the years. Your mileage may vary, of course - and feel free to let us know your own recommendations via Twitter.
Also, spoilers, natch.
High-Rise (2016, dir. Ben Wheatley)
British horror wunderkind Ben Wheatley takes on the classic JG Ballard novel. Granted, it’s with mixed results, but it does offer up a wonderfully tense sense of gradual isolation. Tom Hiddleston, serving up quietly brooding sensuality (not to mention a whole lot of nakedness in the scene where he’s relaxing on his balcony, lying on a sun lounger) as protagonist Dr. Robert Laing, is the MVP in not one, but two sharp shocks of sex scenes.
The first one - a cheeky, joyful moment - comes early on in the film, as Laing takes his upstairs neighbour, single mother Charlotte (Sienna Miller) over her dinner table. The second one, much later on and deep into the film’s violent chaos, is a frantic fuck from behind between Laing and the pregnant Helen (Elizabeth Moss). Both scenes are the kind of raw and frenetic that will make you briefly forget about billowing curtains and soft focus sexy lighting. Because, on occasion, what you really need is for your well-spoken, usually gentle leading man to grunt “I’m coming” in a way that’ll make you fan yourself thinking back about it. Which will, inevitably, happen in the most random and inappropriate locations.
Don't Look Now (1973, dir. Nicholas Roeg)
Based on a story by Daphne du Maurier, this is the old school classic that still sets tongues wagging 44 years later. And quite a lot of the time, it’s for one very specific reason: THAT sex scene, dubbed “one of the frankest love scenes ever to be filmed”. In the scene, interspersed with cuts to the couple getting ready for a dinner, grieving husband and wife John (Donald Sutherland) and Laura Baxter (Julie Christie) fall into bed with each other, reconnecting after the death of their young daughter. So intimate was the scene that for the longest time - and it’s probably still going, to be honest- there was a rumour that Sutherland and Christie had unsimulated sex. Whether they yay’ed or nay’ed, Don’t Look Now remains a horror classic often hailed as a must watch.
##Crank (2006, dir. Neveldine & Taylor) A gloriously bat-arse action thriller, in which Jason Statham plays hitman Chev Chelios, who is poisoned by a rival and needs to keep his adrenaline levels up to survive and get revenge. He does so through an increasingly risky and dangerous series of acts, which include stealing epinephrine from a hospital, taking illegal drugs and breaking pretty much every traffic law known to man.
Things get really interesting, however, when Chev’s girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart) becomes involved in the proceedings - and the two end up having sex in front of a lot of open-mouthed bystanders in the middle of Chinatown. To the tune of Let’s Get it On, no less. And yes, it is exactly as amazing as that sounds.
Atonement (2007, dir. Joe Wright)
Granted, it’s only a brief encounter. But it is the catalyst for a wrenching story about small misunderstandings having huge consequences. Set mostly in the period leading up to the Second World War, Atonement is the story of aspiring novelist Briony Tallis who, at the age of 13, witnesses her sister Cecilia (Keira Knightley) have sex with servant’s son Robbie (James McAvoy) - with whom Briony is infatuated - in the library.
Built up through longing looks and stolen moments, a sexuality explicit letter ultimately leads to them having sex up against the library’s bookshelves. Cecilia and Robbie’s urgent moment of passion may have grave consequences, but for just a few minutes, it’s two people, a library wall, and an explosion of built-up sexual tension.
Y Tu Mamá También (2001, dir. Alfonso Cuarón)
In this Mexican spin on the classic road movie, Alfonso Cuarón explores not just the country’s geography, politics, people and culture, but also the evolution and de-evolution of a close friendship. Julio (Gael García Bernal) and his best friend Tenoch (Diego Luna) meet Luisa (Maribel Verdú), an older woman and the wife of Tenoch’s cousin, at a wedding. Circumstances bring them together on a road trip, and in another case of built-up sexual tension exploding, end up in an explicit, life-changing threesome. A powerful, sensual, heartbreaking film.